Bad Guys!

There is a girl who lives across the street whom we call Annoying Neighbor Girl, ANG, because, well, she's annoying, she's a neighbor, and she's a girl. She is also bossy, obnoxious, disrespectful, and if she was my child she'd get slapped if she acted how she does. I am not above hiding in the basement when she rings the doorbell and pretending we aren't home.

Yesterday, she come over BEFORE Baba made it home from school. She asked if she could wait for him to come home on our front step. Um, no. Baba doesn't really like playing with her (hmmm, wonder why) so I always like to give him an out. There has been a couple times when she's been here waiting for him to get off the bus and he has burst into tears and said, "What is she doing here? I don't wanna play with her." Polite? Not really, but you'd think she'd get the hint. Which she doesn't. I sent her home. Baba's bus comes and he runs up the driveway, excited to be home. She slinks up the driveway so I don't notice and she can play.

Baba wants to play so I let her come over (just call me Mother Theresa). I specifically tell Baba to do the best he can to stay out of the puddles in the backyard because its not that warm, the water will be freezing, and snow pants are not SCUBA gear. I look out the window to check on ANG and see her standing over a sled full of water and Baba SITTING in a puddle. I open the door, tell her to go home, and Baba to get in the house. NOW.

Although, I don't yell, I do make Baba burst into tears because he knows that I'm not happy (and when Momma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy). He comes in the house and I begin interrogation only to find out that ANG told him to sit in the puddle because that was part of the game. Because I am such a good person, I do not run across the street to strange the girl (by the way, she is in 3rd grade). Baba and I discuss how its always okay for him to say, "No!" if someone asks him to do something he knows is wrong (like sitting in a puddle in his snow pants). And Zippy and I are always willing to be the bad guys. If he doesn't want to do something, he can always say that his parents would kill him if he did it. Easy out.

Fast forward to dinner. Rudy has downed her usual half a gallon of milk and wants more so she turns to Zippy and says, "More milk, bad guy!" Turns out they do listen to my lectures. At least, they pick out the best parts.

What are they so afraid of?

At Target, I overheard a dad telling his son he couldn't go down the doll aisle because that was just for "girls." I've heard dad's tell their sons that they can't have a kitchen set, a baby doll, or a play vacuum because they are just for "girls."

I let Baba play with my Barbies. I read him American Girl books. He loves to cook with me. I don't really see this as a problem. Growing up, I loved playing with my actions figures as much as I liked my Barbies. I loved building with my legos more than I liked baking with my easy bake oven. I always wanted to be a boy scout, not a girl scout. I played with what I was interested in, not what I was "supposed" to play with.

So why do I get the "I can't believe you are letting your son play with Barbies" and/or "I can't believe you are reading him American Girl books" when I mention these things? I am trying to let him explore all his interests, not just the ones that are "acceptable" for his gender. He pranced around preschool one day wearing a pink party dress while playing dress up with some girls. Not only did I not care that he was wearing a dress, I encouraged it because it was making the other mom's around uncomfortable.

I often get asked how my husband feels about all of this. I usually asked, "All of what?" I don't believe that letting my son play with dolls and/or dresses is going to make him any more or any less gay then he may or may not be. I truly believe that he cannot choose or control his sexuality. All I care is he ends up with a nice person (be it man or woman) and provides me with grandkids because that is the ONLY reason why I had these kids in the first place - to be a grandma.

I never cease to be amazed at how closed minded people can be. You can judge me all you want, but please don't ruin something my son loves because you feel that its not "gender" appropriate. There is so little time to explore interests with uninfluenced passion, please don't ruin that for him.