Dear Ziz's Nemesis,
What on earth are you still running your air conditioner? You were running it that night it got down to 50. Why? And, please stop abandoning your dog in your front yard. He barks. A lot.
Oh, and when my child says, "Hi neighbor!" please don't glare at him. He's three not sixteen. He's not selling anything, he just wants to be polite and say hi.
And a letter to the makers of Zullzrog sunscreen:
I bought your sunscreen this year. Despite it being a BOGO and double coupon day it was a waste of money (I paid just over $4 for 2 things of sunscreen). I applied your SPF 45 thrice on Sunday and am doing a fine imitation of lobster girl.
Your Zunburned Zriend