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Monday, February 16, 2009

What are they so afraid of?

At Target, I overheard a dad telling his son he couldn't go down the doll aisle because that was just for "girls." I've heard dad's tell their sons that they can't have a kitchen set, a baby doll, or a play vacuum because they are just for "girls."

I let Baba play with my Barbies. I read him American Girl books. He loves to cook with me. I don't really see this as a problem. Growing up, I loved playing with my actions figures as much as I liked my Barbies. I loved building with my legos more than I liked baking with my easy bake oven. I always wanted to be a boy scout, not a girl scout. I played with what I was interested in, not what I was "supposed" to play with.

So why do I get the "I can't believe you are letting your son play with Barbies" and/or "I can't believe you are reading him American Girl books" when I mention these things? I am trying to let him explore all his interests, not just the ones that are "acceptable" for his gender. He pranced around preschool one day wearing a pink party dress while playing dress up with some girls. Not only did I not care that he was wearing a dress, I encouraged it because it was making the other mom's around uncomfortable.

I often get asked how my husband feels about all of this. I usually asked, "All of what?" I don't believe that letting my son play with dolls and/or dresses is going to make him any more or any less gay then he may or may not be. I truly believe that he cannot choose or control his sexuality. All I care is he ends up with a nice person (be it man or woman) and provides me with grandkids because that is the ONLY reason why I had these kids in the first place - to be a grandma.

I never cease to be amazed at how closed minded people can be. You can judge me all you want, but please don't ruin something my son loves because you feel that its not "gender" appropriate. There is so little time to explore interests with uninfluenced passion, please don't ruin that for him.

1 comment:

zenniezou said...

Agree with you 100%. Plus, if little boys don't get the experience of playing with dolls, ovens and toy vacuums, they may grow up with the misguided perception that these are not their "responsibilities" and are things they shouldn't use, and they will be ill-equiped to handle the real world where boys may need to clean the house and take care of the babies. "That's the woman's job". Nice sentiment for the 50's, but this is almost 20-09.