You've Got Mail!

I received the following emails today:

One of my rich relatives died in England and has left me 500 million pounds. All I have to do is give them my bank account number so they can transfer the money. Most excellent. I've always wanted to have 500 million pounds. I am not going to work tomorrow.

I can enlarge my penis size. Had I a penis, I would probably be quite excited about this.

Some girl named Kayla wants to have naughty fun tonight. I am going to bed early, Kayla, and you should, too. Stop emailing random people looking for naughty fun. You could do so much more with yourself.

I can refinance my house for 1.27% interest rate. I wonder if the interest rate increases daily or hourly?

I also got three legitimate job offers. How do I know they are legitimate? The title of the email said so, of course.

I got one email from 1901 - the past is trying to sell me a diet plan. I wonder if it involves tape worms. And one email from 2023. The future is trying to tell me to gamble at some online casino, but since I have inhereted 500 million pounds, I don't really need any more money. Unless, the future emailer knows something I don't know and I somehow lose 500 million pounds. Maybe I shouldn't have deleted that message.

I love Spam! Why is it that Spam is pretty much the only email I get? It is like my cell phone. Once in a great while it rings. Every time it does, I think someone else's phone is ringing so I glare at the people around me wondering why they aren't answering their phone.