Ahh, Cleveland. Why is it that everyone who lives here hates the city? I love Cleveland. I love the old houses, the fantastic neighborhoods and restaurants, the skyline, the city, the weather, and my friends. Yeah, Cleveland rocks.
I am very jealous of my friend's new apartments. It is the top story of a beautiful old house with built-ins and a sunroom. It is the apartment that I always pictured living in.
We stayed up way to late last night, drink too many cosmos (pre-mixed - after our margie episode no one lets me mix drinks any more), and talked about where we were in our lives compared to where we thought we would/should be and how to reconcile that.
My friend mentioned how I am so different than she is. Most of my friends say that. The truth is, I don't think I am like anyone. I see bits of myself in relatives, but I can't look at myself and say, "I am so much like ..........." because I am like no one. I've always wondered why people want to be my friend. I am very cold until I get to know people, but once I befriend someone, I will do anything they need (including, but not limited to driving to Cleveland to pick someone up because they need help).
Did I picture that I would be living in Minnesota at 25 with a 2 year old son and little to no desire to have more babies? No. I always thought that I would want many children and I would stay home with said children. I don't know if I want to stay home with future children, I just want the option to do so. I certainly didn't picture working for a security company or living out in the country - I like the city.
For the most part, I am very happy with my place in life. I have a wonderful, fantasic, super-terrific husband, a great son whom I love with all my heart, a job I don't hate (huge!), and I am okay with where I am at. Life is so much better than it was a year ago. Note to self: next time I have PPD, take the drugs.