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Tuesday, July 24, 2007

The Doings

A couple weeks ago, my dad's family had the annual get together referred to as "The Doings." The Doings are generally held at my Auntie Zue-Zue's house. We grill some sort of meat (this year it was pork - yuck. I had veggies and cheesy potatoes) and spend the afternoon drinking and bullshitting.

The highlight of the Doings is the presentation of the Zirving Zfrank Memorial Award, presented to the member of the Zhompson clan who exhibits the most "Zirv" like behavior during the year. My dad won the inaugural year for getting tired of waiting for the doctor to remove his stitches and removing his stitches himself. My aunt won last year for saying, "The bread was stale and the wine tasted like shit," on her way back from communion. My other aunt who was in church with her was afraid God was going to strike her down. This didn't happen. Yet.

There were 5 nominations this year. The first four involved instances of road rage. I was pretty excited that no one had nominated me for this years award until my aunt announced I had won. And what a prize I had won:

After my grandpa passed and his children were cleaning out his house they found what would become the Zirving Zfrank Memorial Award. No one knew what it was or what purpose it served, just that for some reason Grandpa had put it together and held onto.

Every year the winner adds their contribution to the trophy, kind of like the Stanley Cup, but more meaningful, I think.

You are probably wondering what I did to deserve such an honor. Well, I had some plantar warts on the bottom of my left foot. I wasn't particularly fond of my warts, but I didn't want to go to the doctor and have them frozen off. That sounded painful. So I decided my best option would be to gouge them out with an X-acto knife, which I did. I've been wart free ever since. But, what clinched the award for me was my statement to my father about the wartectomy I preformed on myself: "I am not paying some doctor $20 to freeze the bottom of my foot when I can take care of the warts myself with an X-acto knife."

In hindsight, I should have kept quiet about the wartectomy.

1 comment:

zenniezou said...

Not sure exactly what it was that you won, but congratulations! And comgratulations on successfully removing your warts!