Why is it so much harder to run 1.2 miles when you have a fever and a stomach ache than 2+ miles when you are healthy?
Why does my dryer insist on eating a sock a week?
Why is Pop Secret popcorn a thousand times better than Act II?
Why is it when I'm not really hungry and decide to have, oh I don't know, apple sauce and ice cream for lunch am I ravenous after eating my psuedo lunch?
Why did my VCR eat my Sound of Music tape and not any of the silly songs or Thomas videos we own?
A real conversation between my mother and I:
Mom: Another American Girl catalog came. You better have a little girl so you can start buying American Girl stuff again.
Me: (inside my head: Why do I need a little girl to buy that stuff? Can't I buy it for me?)
Mom: If you are going to adopt you need to get on an adoption list. It takes a long time to adopt.
Me: (noting I never responded aloud to her comment and never mentioned adoption in this conversation. Quick decision. Agree and end conversation or argue with her) If you want to adopt an older child it doesn't take that long. (Damn it! Wrong choice).
Mom: Well, my cousin Shelly was on a list for a long time and she just got her daughter from China. And she isn't an infant. She's one!
Me: (Ohmygod! One, she's practically an adult, why did she need to be adopted) Ben got his kids fairly quickly because he was willing to adopt older kids and siblings (ha! Take that!)
Lather, rinse, repeat. Why did I answer the phone when I saw "Mom's Cell Phone" in the caller ID?