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Thursday, July 27, 2006


I had a phone interview tonight and a real, live interview (do they still do these?) tomorrow afternoon. Someday, I'm going to answer every single questions they ask exactly the way that comes to mind.

Interviewer(I): Are you flexible
Me(M): No.
I: How do you feel about change?
M: I fear change.
I: You go out for coffee with your co-workers and they start bad-mouthing your boss, what do you do?
M: Join in.
I: What is your ideal job?
M: One that I get paid a lot and don't have to do much work.
I: Where do you see yourself in 5 years.
M: Not here!
I: Why do you want this job?
M: I don't, but I need the money.
I: What is your greatest accomplishment?
M: Getting through this interview with a straight answer and my ability to bullsh*t!
I: What is your strength?
M: Bullsh*tting.
I: What is your weakness?
M: Thinking up a "good" weakness that is actually a strength (dare I be so bold as to say this tomorrow. Stay tuned....).

How come they never ask, "How do you feel about working for someone who is dumber than you and will make your job 10 times harder and more stressful then it should be?"

I love interviewing because it keeps me mentally sharp. Thinking up good responses to crappy questions is a strength, right? I'm quick on my feet. But, my biggest problem is, I'm so good at saying what they want to hear, I don't honestly evaluate the job and decide if it something I actually want to do. So I get stuck in yucky jobs I strongly dislike. Grr.

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